I hate all girls vehemently.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
