there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
