Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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