You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
