I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
