when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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