and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
