we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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