HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
