so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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