Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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