so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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