Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This baby is an asshole
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
