Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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