in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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