If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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