I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
