That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
