I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
