when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
