i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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