The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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