Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
