god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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