i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
