I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
