I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
