You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
