P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
