dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
