just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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