i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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