at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Oh god it's open bar.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
