New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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