Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
