Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
