I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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