Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I enjoy the company of your penis
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize