I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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