He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
