Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
That was an excessively violent trivia night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
