so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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