my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
