No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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