I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
