I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We don't watch enough power rangers
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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