Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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