you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
