Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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