I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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