They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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