I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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