It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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