I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
