I think my fart just growled at me.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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