Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
