we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
